Get your freak on! It's Halloween!

Spider fun facts!

I did a little research, and within no time, I learned Shelob's true identity: she's a common European cross spider (Araneus diadematus). I don't know why she came from Europe; presumably, she heard about how most of the humans on this continent are flavored with pork grease, corn syrup, and MSG. But you can see why she's a cross spider - the white cross on her abdomen stands out clearly in the photo I took of her in my previous post.

Anyway, a couple of interesting things I learned about cross spiders. They are orb-weavers, and rebuild their large webs almost every day. Most suburban yards around here have over one hundred webs in them, which I can believe given the number of webs on our front porch alone. When creating the radial support lines for the web, the spider takes advantage of the morning winds (she often anchors them a fair distance away, so uses the wind to carry her to an anchor spot), and the orientation of the resulting web indicates the morning wind pattern.

Also, the females will perch upside down in the web (like in my pictures below) waiting for prey, and when something hits the web, she darts over, immobilizes it with venom, then wraps it up in silk. I actually saw Shelob do this with a bee a few weeks ago - she was crazy fast, and she wrapped that sucker up good and tight in no time.

But here's what I'm really not looking forward to. In late summer and fall (now!?), the females will lay egg sacs, which hatch out about a gazillion little spiderlets that hang out in clumps then disperse after a few days. While spiderlets sound cute, you can be assured that several will reach adulthood and wreak havoc upon the local hobbit population (or whatever else that will make an appropriate substitute, since I believe Shelob consumed the last of our hobbits). I am not crazy about the prospect of finding over a hundred of these clusters in my yard any time soon:

Bleck!

I'm now thinking that telecommuting may be the way to go, permanently. I can send Chris out to get groceries and cat litter, and if he doesn't make it back, well, I guess that means my arachnophobia-induced precautions will be validated. I haven't seen Shelob in a few days now, but I'm sure that's because she's off laying egg sacs or planning something equally nefarious. I'm glad that I got some photos of her before she disappeared so that the police will have something to go on when they find, in response to a neighbor's report about a "funny smell coming from the yellow house", our cold lifeless bodies sucked dry and wrapped in silk.

Shit. I just read the rest of the spider website...I guess we're coming up on Tegenaria duellica season: the season of the giant house spider, which are common in this area. And since I'm pretty sure it eats cats for between-meal snacks, I'm guessing I'm screwed.

This here is a giant house spider. Sorry, I did not get permission to use this photo, but it was the only one with a reference to scale so you can see how utterly horrifying this creature is. And our basement is likely chock-full of them.

And you thought I was kidding about Shelob...

So very wrong, you were!
































On the bright side, I took these pictures with my new camera so I was able to maintain a relatively safe distance. On the down side, I think I still managed to piss her off because after a couple of minutes of invading her space she scrambled up underneath the porch rail, presumably to plot my demise and eventual consumption. So I guess that means that use of the front door (necessitating crossing into Her territory) is off limits, at least until the first frost. But maybe I'll not take any chances and just wait things out until spring.

Whooooops!

So, it looks like I completely forgot to write anything for this blog in September. Ooops! Sorry about that, folks! Because I know you were totally checking my blog at least once, twice, or maybe even three times per day to see if I'd written anything new...that's how much you love my blog, huh? Ah, I have such a loyal audience! All three of you are the absolute best!

So now, on to a quick recap. In the beginning of September, Chris and I started our bowling league, which will go through April. Yes, every Thursday night you can find us at Bailey's Classic Lanes, which is just down the street from our house in the basement of the Elks Lodge. It is only 8 lanes, has original wood floors, and is run by a really nice couple - Dennis and Robin. The people in the league are kinda nutty, so I guess we fit right in. I bought a fabulous pair of bowling shoes and a leopard ball, because style is apparently what I have going for me, instead of a decent average. On the other hand, I have a super-high handicap! Yay!

Yup, the shoes were the first thing I bought when it came to purchasing the necessary equipment.

That's my leopard ball in the front there, and Chris probably bowling a strike. Too bad my ball is too light - last time I bowled with one of the house balls, 2 lbs heavier! I can't say it made much of a difference in my score, but I was at least a bit more consistent.

We also made it out to Vancouver's annual Sausage Fest. With real sausages. I've had better sausage, but how could we pass up Sausage Fest? Short answer: we couldn't.

See - it really was a Sausage Fest. And you thought I was kidding.

Additionally, Chris and I spent a weekend at the coast in Lincoln City. Chris actually got me out on the golf course, where my talents were most usefully applied to driving the golf cart and keeping score. I did hit a few balls, but again, golf is perhaps something where I'll have to get by on style and not on skill. Now, if I could trade my bowling average for my golf score, *then* I might have something going!



September was a good month, but I suppose it is time to say goodbye to summer. The rain has started to become more frequent, and I'm seeing new birds at the feeder. The spiders are now huge. In fact, Shelob has relocated from Mordor to our front porch and is feeding on small birds because of the hobbit shortage. We have an understanding, though - I won't use the front door, and she won't make me scream in terror and run around the front yard like a maniac. It sounded like a good deal at the time, but I'm ready for her to move on! And speaking of moving on, it is now October. And you know what that means...yes...Halloween!!! I've already got my entire costume purchased, complete with accoutrements and accessories. What will I be? Well, you'll either have to guess or wait. But here's a hint: we're all mad here!

I'm already 2/3 done with my first bag of candy corn, but that simply means I get to buy more soon. I hope you have a splendid October, and are looking forward to the best holiday of the year. Because any day that combines costumes and candy is number one in my book!